Rick's Daily Journal

Weight loss....Now that I am losing lots of weight I am keenly aware of what all that heft was doing to me and how my lifestyle and health was handicapped because of it. But along with the healing my body is doing I have had to retrain my brain because your brain is in on the conspiracy to make you too heavy and if not for this fast I am sure I would fail in this endeavor. My body resisted the effort to do anything and my brain was being complicit right along with it. My health and motivation was so severely compromised that one side of my brain ruled the roost. Everything was an effort and it was only getting worse. The more obese I became the more my heart labored and the less I wanted to do anything. I was totally clueless that being over weight could be such a detriment to my existence. Oh sure I was aware of how I looked and knew that it was not good for me to some degree but I did not realize how wonderful I would feel or how damaging the weight was. The rewards are almost boundless. But it has been a supreme struggle. Each day I would go outside my sons home and try to walk up the hill a ways. Progress was excruciatingly slow but seeing the transformation in my son I knew with application I would drop some weight. Each day going up that hill was hard and depressing. Two houses up and back down hill. Two and a half houses up and back down. Day in day out I never waned from the effort no matter how it looked like I would never make it to the top of the hill. Then one day I made the top and I was overjoyed. Many days spent struggling to the top ensued until I was like Magellan and had to find out what was on the other side. Then it was why not make this a circuitous route back to my son's house so I can see new things instead of the same old sights I seen on the way up. Make it a metropolitan adventure quest so to speak. Two houses had now turned into a mile and a half. After that is was not something I had to do but something I wanted to do. I was riding the train out to the zoo one day on a special errand, that I will get into in another blog, when we got blocked in the middle of an intersection and could not proceed for about 10 minutes. I looked down the street and about three blocks away was the Pacific Ocean with breakers ten feet high crashing ashore and right then I knew I had arrived. Or more precisely my brain had arrived along with my body. My brain said "Yea! let's have some adventure ", and my body a willing partner walked to the ocean like Vasco Balboa centuries earlier . The doctors said after a few weeks on this fast that we expect you to burn 2000 calories a week doing some form of exercise along with only eating enough of their protein supplements to make sure my body did not burn muscle for energy and only convert the fat to run all systems. Ketosis is what it is called and it is a marvelous thing your body will do given the forced deprivation. The energy my body needs to maintain itself has hit a virtual state of penury and has no choice but to go the snobs called fat who live in various places on my body and say "Hey! You need to contribute to the energy fund or the body will fail and we will have nothing and we will be just a memory with a piece of granite extolling our life's accomplishments or lack of them". I make the analogy that fat is like a movie star. It wants to be out on display so everyone can see it and is not happy unless it occupies the prime places on your body like your stomach and your posterior. It is shouting "look at me I can survive a famine if need be". Last time I looked there were no famines in America. The only thing is fat is not really a movie star no matter its' star billing. Fat is the white trash that moved into the neighborhood and put on the front lawn a 1972 Gremlin on blocks with the doors askew and placed a cheap plastic flamingo from Walmart next to it and called the place home. Lastly my son made mention the other day that you never see a really fat old person. The reason that is is fat kills and it doesn't wait for you to get old it wants to kill you now. We all struggle to attain a nice home a comfortable car or grown up toys but fail to struggle to save our selves.

Had a brutal evening here in the city. When I left to go to my 5 PM doctors appointment the temperature was a balmy 64 degrees with clear skies and nary a hint of a breeze. As usual I was wearing shorts and carried a light sweat shirt, for in the afternoons the wind changes direction and picks up some of the chill the vast Pacific has to offer. I take the train into the city which from where I embark proceeds into a deep tunnel that never rises more than 5 stories underground even at my terminus. I have no problem with this but I can not allay the fears my wife has for this form of transit so in a way I am lucky she is not with me on this sojourn. Halfway into the city the train grinds to a halt in a part of the tunnel that has no access to the surface and radio communication is limited if not nonexistent in this portion of the underground tube. We cooled our heels there for over a half an hour and thusly made me quite late for my appointment. The clinic was understanding of my situation when I did get there as this is a city more dependent on mass transit than similar size cities around America outside of New York city. I did not get out of the doctors office till after 7PM and as is usual for the New me I walked the ten blocks back to the train station for my ride back to West Portal. The wind was whipping up like a Nor'easter about to pounce upon the New England states. I figured I would just quicken my pace and stay ahead of getting a chill on my jaunt downhill. I might add here for those not familiar with San Francisco, you have two options for a walk anywhere in the city, uphill or downhill, no prairie here. I made it to the station and descended down into the bowels of earth where my ride home would be awaiting me in two minute intervals. My first clue something was amiss was seeing the the waiting platform, normally this time of night a sprinkling of people late from work or maybe shopping, a sea of humanity and three trains idling on the tracks. From the PA system, which normally has a pleasant female voice stating which train was approaching and from which direction, comes a voice from I am sure a secure room well away from this crowd announcing that there would be no more trains moving this evening. Three outbound (out of the city) trains in the station with approximately 300 people on each one not counting the ones waiting to board all of sudden having to put plan B into action. Not having done much Boy Scout time in my youth I never the less have always tried to live by their motto, Be Prepared. For this I was sort of prepared being I had purchased a Muni map when I got here in San Francisco. The map has all the routes of the buses, trains and a supplement with Bart route outlined. So I had Plan B covered. I did not have Plan C covered though. Plan C is bring clothes as if winter might come here to northern California. Reaching the surface again I was disheartened to find out that the wind was now blowing to the tune of 10 on the Beaufort Wind Scale and I am making no exaggerations. You know it is bad when you start using the Beaufort Scale. Things are now getting really complicated and I am falling behind managing sanity. Why sanity? It is now 45 degrees and I am dressed for a stroll down the beach in Miami. I am on a fast and I have not had a protein supplement since 2 in the afternoon. Being on a fast you don't hold water very well and San Francisco is famous for being stingy with the privilege of using their facilities. I am not kidding, they have signs in the window telling you in advance, just in case you might think to ask to use their bathroom. Lastly all of a sudden 1200 people want to use the same 50 person bus, that will magically be transformed into a sardine can with these crowds, I will require to get within walking distance to home. This compounded by the fact that this is only one station of many on Market street that also just let out. I finally got on one of the electric buses and even got a seat. The real bonus was this bus driver had the heat cranked all the way up. I felt like I was in Alaska and had hit the command start early so my first foray into the cold would be that much lesssend. I transferred buses near City College after again waiting in the gale force winds. This was a diesel bus and it either did not have a heater or the driver secretly was wearing long johns. A transplanted Alaskan not willing to come out of the cold closet maybe. It all worked out and I am that much wiser. Two transfers, one convenient and well placed bush and a short 3 tenths of mile walk home to a house sitting at 51 degrees and only 9:45 PM made for an interesting diversion from the norm. I am not going to run out and do a cheer for diversions but once in awhile they are needed just to keep that edge.

San Francisco 190 pounds!!!!! Wow it is hard to believe that a short time ago I was 45 pounds heavier and a whole lot more sedentary and complacent about my health and weight. And if I have more days like I have been having I am sure to lose a lot more weight. Yesterday I left for the train station to go shopping at Costco in the city and as usual I double checked that I had the house keys in my possesion as my greatest fear is that I would be locked out and not be able to access the internet. The train station is down hill from Jon's home and part of it is a fairly steep grade which at times taxes this old body. I get to the bottom of the steepest part and realize I am wearing my flip flop sandals which answered my question of why this walk seeemed so different. Back up the hill and put on my tennis shoes, check for key possession and proceed on my way again. I get to the train station and reach for my Fast Pass and, Yep, left it on the table back home. Retrieve the pass and make note about getting frequent flyer miles and head back down the hill. Get on the train and since it is 5pm the train heading into the city is almost empty. I get to the next station which is Forest Hill and realize I do not have my Costco card so I debark and cross over to go back to West Portal which is the station near the house. Outbound train is at this hour of day is like a ride on a train in Hong Kong, be prepared to be intimate with your neighbor. Why can't I ride on one of these sardine rides next to a model for Victorias Secret instead of the guy that thinks hot water is what you use to make coffee with. So it is back up the hill, key check, pass check, shoe check and off on my adventure again. I get off the train at Van Ness and look at my Muni map and ascertain Costco is about 5 blocks down 10th avenue so since I really did not want to brush up against Abu again I chose to walk. It was a pleasant walk with many new sights around each corner. I get to Costco as they slide the NORAD type door closed and thus ending my expectations for some Rojos Salsa that evening. Morals of the adventure.......be forgetful you lose 200 calories and check watch occasionaly